There’s a place way up north just right for a goose
And it was home to a goofy ol’ goose they call Bruce.
He wasn’t alone, there were lots of great gooses,
And bears and some deer and one or two mooses!
The trees where sky high and the grass was so green.
And the rivers and lakes were perfectly clean.
The place was fantastic, it was nicer than nice.
For a goose to leave this he’d have to think twice!
It was such a great place, it couldn’t be topped,
“Cept in the fall when the temperatures dropped.
But for now it was perfect and Bruce was content
As he gobbled down goodies wherever he went.
The bushes were drooping with berries in bunches
And he stopped by each one for a couple of munches.
It was such a good season, there was plenty of forage,
And Bruce thought his tummy would make a good storage.
So he ate some of this and he ate some of that.
He ate and he ate and he got kind of fat!
But still he kept eating, he just couldn’t stop.
And the more that he ate the fatter he got!
The rest of the geese were as fit as a fiddle
But Bruce was real big, especially his middle.
He could no longer fly, even walking was tough.
The other geese said, “Bruce that’s enough!
You’re a tubby old bird and you’ll fall like a rock
The next time you try to fly with the flock.
Our summer is fleeting and autumn draws near.
If you’re too big to fly south you’ll spend Winter here!”
Still he ignored them, he was too busy eating,
To hearken to geese who were constantly bleating.
He squawked, “I’ll be fine, just mind your own matters.
I’m getting real tired of your nagging and chatters!”
Then one day it happened, Bruce noticed the chill,
Of the breeze that was blowing from over the hill.
It got his attention and he knew what it meant.
The breeze was a warning of nature’s intent!
Cold weather was here and they’d all have to hurry
To prepare to fly south to avoid Winter’s fury.
But Bruce couldn’t walk, and he sure couldn’t flap,
And without heading south he’d be caught in this trap.
Bruce began honking some squeaks and a squawk
As he pleaded for help from the geese in his flock!
“I know it sounds stupid, and I know it seems strange,
But I forgot to remember the seasons would change.
I’m fat as can be, I’ll need some real help,
If I’m to fly south!” he babbled and yelped!
But the geese weren’t impressed with their berry-brained friend.
So he screeched and he squawked again and again!
“You’ll all have to help, I’m a pitiful goose,
I’m fatter than fat and my feathers are loose!
My feet are so chubby, and my neck weighs a ton,
And I always fall down when I’m trying to run.
But in spite of my faults and my fat and my diet
I’m still one of you and who can deny it.
Please show some compassion and help a bird out,
I’m plump but I’m sweet!” he cackled a shout!
Though the geese were disgusted with Bruce it was true,
They decided to help, what else could they do?
For the next several days they planned and they plotted.
The T’s were all crossed and the I’s were all dotted.
They hoped he’d be flappy once back in the skies,
Though getting him up there might take several tries.
This gaggle of geese met at least twice a day
To finagle and figure a high flying way.
If it worked out as planned they’d be flying next week
And away from the cold the geese could all sneak!
The first time they endeavored to get him up flying
He flipped and he flopped but still they kept trying.
They pulled and they pried but that was too tough!
And they gave him a push but it wasn’t enough.
They asked an old bear at the edge of the woods
If he’d lend a hand and he said that he would.
He did his bear best to give them support
And frighten ol’ Bruce with a snarly bear snort.
Bruce took off running, just too scared to fly,
But at least the old bear gave a heck of a try!
His friends were all baffled, and they said as they sighed,
“Bruce and his belly are just too big to fly!”
Some other geese laughed at the sight of this scene,
But Bruce didn’t smile, if you know what I mean!
It seemed Bruce the Goose’s days were now numbered.
He’d eaten too much, he really had blundered!
What else could they do, their plans had unraveled.
Not one single foot had Bruce the Goose traveled!
Then one little gosling, the short one in back,
Squeaked, “I’ve got an idea that’ll get us on track!”
He’d come up with a plan and a big grand design
That promised to help ol’ Bruce with his flyin’.
He presented his plan and the geese all agreed,
Even ol’ Bruce said, “YES!… YES INDEED!”
So they built a large harness especially for Bruce
And attached it securely to this grounded goose.
This they would use to pull him behind
The rest of the geese who would do all the flying.
Bruce they then placed on a small frozen pond
Where they’d stretched some long ropes to the banks just beyond.
The lines were connected to the harness securely.
“It feels rather weird!” said Bruce so demurely.
Some instructions were given to the geese of the flock
As they gathered ‘round Bruce for one final talk.
The leader then asked, “Hey Bruce are you ready?
When we start to pull you’ll have to hold steady.”
Bruce nodded, “Yes!” but he felt a bit queasy,
‘Cause he knew this strange flight wouldn’t be easy.
At the sound of the “HONK!” from the lead goose up front,
The geese all took off to attempt this grand stunt!
Bruce zipped along at a wing-zinging pace
While the blood in his feet squeezed up to his face!
He held on so tightly, with white knuckles no doubt,
And the eyes in his head nearly turned inside out!
In a matter of moments the geese were up flying,
Except for big Bruce, but at least he was trying.
They flew faster and faster…. and then faster still,
Toward the end of the lake just before the big hill.
Bruce was slip-sliding, how fast we don’t know,
But he slid he sure did and away he did go!
It seemed for a moment this idea might work
But then without warning the geese felt a jerk!
Then a pop and a snap and some terrible rips
And a dip and a flop and quite a few flips!
Bruce was sent spinning on the shiny cold ice
As he spun in big circles and curly-cued twice!
Over and under as he flipped upside-down.
He teetered and tottered and whirled all around!
Feathers were flying and some screams were heard too…
But wouldn’t you scream if this happened to you?
At the end of the lake where the ice meets the dirt.
He finally kerplopped… and that had to hurt!
The rest of the fliers all flew back to Bruce
Who was now tightly wedged ‘tween two giant spruce.
“Bruce can you hear us? Bruce can you speak?
Bruce you look awful, and you’ve bent your bird beak!”
He doddled and dangled and occasionally sneezed
As he hung upside down between the two trees.
He groaned a good bit then flashed a half grin,
As he reached to inspect a bump on his chin.
He was dirty and dizzy and quite a sad sight
But determined he was to get on with the flight.
Once back on the ice, after repairs to equipment,
Bruce and the flock made a brand new commitment.
Then off they went fluttering and running some too,
With an eye on the sky and that big batch of blue.
And just as before, so the story’s been told,
They tugged and they shrugged and everyone pulled.
This time they would make it, it just had to happen!
So each of the geese did twice as much flappin’!
Bruce closed his eyes as his feet left the ground.
Up, up and away ol’ Bruce did abound!
He may have crashed once but this time he climbed,
“To the top of the sky!” He excitedly chimed!
He never stopped flappin’, and he flapped really fast,
And he flapped even more and he flapped ’til he gasped!
He kept climbing higher, and then higher still,
“Til he sailed just above the tall trees on the hill!
Screamed the geese up ahead, “Bruce don’t look down!”
‘Cause by now he was winging a mile above ground!
It was very exciting, a most remarkable sight,
As they all headed south on that cold Autumn night.
They flew several days and Bruce become stronger,
‘Cause he’d lost twenty pounds while flying up yonder.
But the farther they flew the tougher it seemed.
The wind from the south it howled and it screamed.
Their wings were so tired and their muscles were aching
And the blast from each gust their strength began taking.
The geese had to struggle to keep themselves going.
How far they had flown there was no way of knowing.
The flapped and they flapped and tried not to falter
While Bruce tagged along in that silly old halter.
They fluttered and sputtered each hoping to find
Some deep hidden strength of any old kind.
Still it kept blowing, and the gusts became stronger,
‘Til this flock in the sky couldn’t fly any longer.
About halfway to nowhere they’d run out of gas
And needed to rest ’til the howling winds passed.
But Bruce, you’ll remember, was surely improving.
He’d lost so much weight his parts were now moving.
And seeing the plight of his friends up in front,
Bruce knew he must help so he gave a big grunt.
And a gasp and a groan and even a wheeze
As he battled so hard to brave the bold breeze.
The harder he worked the faster he fluttered,
And he passed all the geese and not a one muttered.
To the front of the flock, to the tip of the “V”…
Now Bruce was the leader, the geese could all see!
He tugged on their lines and offered a tow
And not one single goose was heard to say, “NO!”
Each was so thankful for the pull he provided.
For some help at this time they were truly delighted.
Ever onward they soared ner’ forgetting their goal,
To fly farther south to avoid Winter’s toll.
With Bruce at the helm of his once faltering flight
In a matter of days the south was in sight.
And not a moment too soon, could there be any doubt?
These foul weather fowls were plum tuckered out!
Soon safely below and now firmly grounded,
This gaggle or geese was rather astounded!
How could it be that Bruce saved the flock?
You can bet your bird feathers it came as a shock!
“Bruce you’re the best, we can’t thank you enough.”
Exclaimed the whole flock, and other such stuff.
Though Bruce was embarrassed he took it all in
And hoped they might say it again and again.
Winter was nice and they all lived in splendor,
And that includes Bruce that shapely ol’ gander.
Bruce, it appeared, was in goose great shape
If judged by that skinny ol’ measuring tape.
It had been several weeks, about half a season,
And Bruce still looked great and he had a good reason.
It seems that a goose, a girl goose precisely,
Had impressed Bruce the goose really quite nicely.
One thing lead to another… then another it’s true…
Until this lady goose and Bruce said, “I do!”
But winter was waning and spring was now springing
And soon to the north these geese would be winging.
But ol’ Bruce the goose, and his lady goose too,
Had decided that their days of winging were through.
They announced to their fine feathered friends in the flock,
“We plan to stay here”…. and it came as a shock!
“We like it up north where the berries are sweet
But you have to admit that these oranges are neat.
And we like all the grapefruit and the mangos and such,
And the sand on our toes adds quite a nice touch.
The sun and the surf and the breeze from the sea,
And the shade where we rest by the coconut tree.
It’ll get a bit warm, but not too warm we’re told,
And it’s gotta be better than the north’s biting cold.
So how could we leave? We’d have to be crazy,
It’s the perfect ol’ place for us geese to be lazy.”
As their friends flew away each secretly sighed
At the feelings they felt way deep down inside.
Each one was now thinking, “Can there be any doubt,
That this back and forth flying was wearing then out?”
Soon one of the geese had broken formation.
As he dove to the ground he shrieked with elation.
“I’m staying right here! The south is now home!
No more to the north will my old feathers roam!”
Then flew another… then two… then the rest,
As they all circled back to their fine Winter nest.
Bruce welcomed them back with wide open wings
And mangos and oranges and other south things.
There was laughing and playing and meeting and greeting
And dancing on beaches and singing and eating.
For the next several weeks there was much to be done
As they gathered their lives in the warm southern sun.
But they all worked together to build their new places
And as tough as it was there were smiles on their faces.
Though life wasn’t perfect, they had to admit,
That this living down south hadn’t hurt ‘em a bit!
But that’s not the end, there’s much more to tell,
“Bout how this good goose tale ended so well.
The girly girl gooses made eyes at geese guys
Which left all the guy geese with wide open eyes.
And soon the guy gooses married pretty geese wives
And the geese in this gaggle lived happy long lives.
Now, “HONK!” if you will, if you’re happy to say,
That this little goose story has ended this way!